From my own experience and that of my clients, I know that holidays can be both the most magical and the most challenging time of the year. No matter what you celebrate or how, you’ll inevitably ride the rollercoaster of parenting in many different situations.
In order to prepare you for whatever life brings, I’ve compiled 3 tips to help you be the intentional parent you want to be.
Create reasonable expectations
Breaks from school, travel, lots of people around. These are all interruptions to the routines of normal life. Those interruptions hopefully create lasting memories and connections for your children, but also create feelings of uncertainty, fear, and overwhelm.
So what can we do to help our kids through this time? Have reasonable expectations!
Expect sleep interruptions, tantrums, fighting, and defiance.
Expect to spend more time on screens and for things to be messy.
Expect family members to talk about the election endlessly.
And when your expectations are met, you will not be taken by surprise. You can feel prepared and confident in your ability to handle these situations because they are temporary.
Of course, all of these difficulties will hopefully be worth it in the long run. Sleep interruptions will be remembered as late nights telling stories. A messy home will be remembered as a lively gathering place for loved ones. Remember, these challenges are temporary, and the memories you’re building will last far longer.
Set boundaries for yourself and for your kids
Holiday gatherings come with the need to juggle family dynamics and expectations, which makes boundaries essential. But if setting boundaries is tough for you, imagine how hard it is for children who are already experiencing turbulence.
Before embarking on your holiday plans, have a conversation to establish everyone’s needs and ensure that you’re on the same page.
Remember, boundaries are statements of what you will do:
I’m willing to talk about politics after the kids go to bed.
The kids need to sleep, so we’ll leave by 7 o’clock.
I’m so glad we’ve gotten all this time together and we will say goodbye on Saturday.
I’m so happy to host everyone at my house. I’ll be making turkey and potatoes; will you bring a side or a dessert?
She will say hello to everyone or give a hug when she’s ready, or not at all.
Boundaries are a way to honor your family's needs while maintaining respect for others.
Engage all the senses with your family traditions
The best part of any holiday are the traditions that you look forward to every year. And having your own family means creating any traditions that you like!
Cook or bake something together: knead dough, make a huge mess, clean it up together with the aroma of cookies in the air
Select an array of foods: offer variety, including safe food for sensory avoiders, that can be enjoyed in many ways, include dips and dressings
Spend time in nature: splashing in the rain, crunching leaves and snow, filling up on sunshine, rolling in the sand, smelling the fresh moist growth of the forest
Play games together: card games, board games, I spy, hide and seek, clapping games, word games, Twister, freeze tag, snowball fights. Move your body, laugh, and connect.
And remember: holidays are ultimately about being together.
Stay present and enjoy this time with your family.